Does Blame help reach a result in the negotiation process?  In my opinion, it is counter-productive.  This week we saw a lot of blame coming out of Washington D.C., in a negotiation without resolution and an eventual shut down.  This led me to think about my own work and what happens when blame is assigned and then continues as the focus.  During a negotiation, the parties do need to take responsibility for their own actions.  This can be done in a productive way without shaming or humiliating the other party. There is a distinction between assigning and taking responsibility and what happens when the parties stay at the level of blame.  Continue Reading

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.  Continue Reading

A benefit of using collaborative law for separation and divorce is that the parties can work together with a team of professionals to create a situation that works for everyone, including the children. Collaborative law allows attorneys and other neutral professionals help develop creative and practical solutions with a focus on the unique needs of each family. When there are children involved, decision-making and parenting access schedules can easily become positional discussions out of fear of loss or anger.  That being said, most couples are eager to make their own decisions rather than have a third party decide the family’s fate. Most parents want to find a way to work together on a parenting plan that prioritizes what works best for the whole family. Continue Reading

Taking trips with the family post-divorce should continue to be a fun, memorable experience regardless if it’s a day trip or longer.  Moving forward, most families benefit when the parents work out a concrete plan for how vacation time will be spent with the children. This helps to create stability and certainty in making vacation and travel plans and in the children’s lives.  Continue Reading

Entering into a negotiation with uncertainty is not necessarily a bad thing.  Thinking that we know all of the answers before a negotiation starts can lead to less flexible, positional thinking.  A reasonable agreement in divorce is different for each family.  For that reason, we can enter into the negotiation with uncertainty about what is best for one particular family so long as we are flexible in considering available options and work in good faith to find the most reasonable solution.   Some individuals chose to stay in limbo due to uncertainty about outcome.  The uncertainty can lead to fear – that may prohibit productive thinking. Continue Reading

When creating a parenting plan, the goal is for both parents to maintain a meaningful relationship with the children unless special circumstances exist.   How can parents develop a viable “50/50” parenting plan? What does equal parenting mean in a “50/50” case? Continue Reading

Social media is all around us. In today’s world, around-the-clock accessibility through social media has become the norm. It seems as if everyone is constantly updating their status or tagging their pictures so that we know exactly where they are and what they are doing. Couples are realizing that updates on an individual’s whereabouts and thought on social media can affect their family. Continue Reading

meeting-room-3-1239345-300x221High-stakes negotiations are often characterized as intense back-and-forth battles where only one party wins. The winner takes all while the other party may suffer a loss of both objectives and dignity. A loss of dignity in negotiations for a prenup can have a long-lasting effect on the relationship.   Negotiating a prenup can (and should) be about coming to a mutually beneficial agreement for both parties. While the marital relationship is considered an economic as well as social partnership, establishing a foundation for the economics of the relationship can be challenging.  The goal of the negotiation should be conducive to creating a durable, family-oriented agreement. Below are five reasons the “art of the deal” is not a zero sum game when it comes to family: Continue Reading

One of the most common questions I receive from clients is how to bring up a prenuptial agreement with a future spouse. There is no uniform answer to this because every couple has its own dynamics, and a prenup conversation should reflect this. With that being said, there are some basic ideas to help your path to a prenup go more smoothly.  Continue Reading

The divorce process involves the uncoupling of many aspects of life. Perhaps the most talked about is the financial aspect.   Creating and understanding your own financial snapshot can be an important step in making the divorce process a productive one.  A fair resolution will address how to divide assets and debts fairly and what the cash flow looks like moving forward. Continue Reading